What if you flip through the pages of your life, travel back to your memories, and revisit your regrets? Do you ever wonder, how did I end up here? What if you took a moment and reimagined what your life would look like had you made different choices?
Our regrets come in different forms.
They can be big: I regret I didn’t tell my mother how much I loved her before she died.
They can be small: I regret I didn’t get enough sleep.
Yet they all marinate in our memories. They loop around in the back of our minds as we navigate life. Some flash boldly daily. For me, the regret I carry is named Sinead.
My older sister Sinead died last March. I sat beside her holding her hand as she took her last breath. In those final moments, she rose up from the bed as if she was being pulled somewhere beyond us. Then suddenly, she let go.
Two weeks earlier, I was at her bedside when the oncologist delivered her diagnosis of a rare form of bladder cancer. She was given two choices: to fight, or to let go. Given her condition, the choice was painfully clear to both of us.
Sinead fought her whole life to live.
At thirteen she became a paraplegic after a bike accident. In her twenties, she lost her leg to an infection. Despite this she never lost hope and her will to live. This diagnosis was another battle in a line of others she had courageously fought.
Before I left her in the care of my brother to visit college campuses with my son, I expressed to Sinead everything I needed her to know. I had this feeling that this was perhaps the last time I would see her conscious. There was nothing left unsaid between us. She knew how much I loved and admired her. She was my superhero. And I knew she loved me, that she would always be with me, holding my hand just as she did when we were little.
I planned to return in a week.
In our last conversation she said, “Aoife, I am scared.”
I held the phone tightly as I circled the parking lot, took a deep breath, and replied, “Sinead, I know you’re scared. This is the most courageous thing you will ever do. I love you.”
The words letting go were never passed between us, but were understood.
I made arrangements to leave sooner to get back to her as I sensed our time was short.
I do not have any regrets about our last conversations or the life questions I peppered her with as she lay in her hospital bed attached to feeding tubes. She shared with me she lived a happy life and how her family was the most important thing to her. Every now and again, she paused, aware her body was slowing down and what was to come.
In those moments, I sometimes regret that I didn’t spend more time with her. Yet, it gave me comfort knowing that she lived a full life.
I still have her last voicemail on my phone, listing other treatment options, searching for a way to fight it and live. She didn’t want to die.
It is a keen reminder how precious life is and to have the courage to say the things you want to say while you can.
As I look to 2026, instead of goals, I am thinking about regrets. My parents are aging, and I am aware I do not have much time left with them. I am choosing to intentionally visit them more often. I want to look back without regrets knowing I was present with them.
I think about Sinead and how she chose courage over comfort to live. I took a medal of Saint Jude from her house. I hold it dearly and look at it often.
It reads: “Lord, grant me courage to deal with the decisions I make every day.”
When I face difficulty or have to make hard choices, I think of her bravery and gather my courage.
Everything that comes before shapes you and makes you who you are. Life is made of both the things we do and the things we don’t do. In the maze of life, we are faced with many turns. We get to choose where we turn and what path we take. We cannot walk back our choices. We can only choose how we walk forward. With every turn you can open up a world of possibilities.
In 2026, I am choosing a more courageous path guided by Sinead. I now express my feelings more freely, especially to my loved ones. Every day I am grateful to live. Life is a gift.
What I learned this past year is simple. Have the courage to express your feelings. It is a gift to yourself and to others. The longer you delay, the longer you carry things that need to be said.
Make sure those you love and value know how you feel.
Rather than letting regret hold me back, as I look to 2026 I ask myself:
Would I regret it if I didn’t do it?
Then, I choose the path that would get me closer to who I want to become and turn a potential regret into an opportunity.
In the words of Robert Frost
“Two roads diverge in a wood,
and I took the one less traveled by,
and that has made all the difference…”
