There are moments in life and leadership when the weight of what’s in front of us feels overwhelming. It can be a project with no clear outcome, the pressure of an inbox that never ends, stepping into a role that feels bigger than we are, or a personal or professional transition that asks us to let go of what we once knew.
In coaching, I often see thoughtful people frozen by the sheer size of what they’re facing. Their mind chatter races ahead thinking of what needs to be done, everything that could go wrong, the uncertainty of it all.
There is a phrase that echoes in my mind during these times:
Take it bird by bird.
The phrase comes from one of my favorite writers, Anne Lamott. In her book Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life, she tells a story about her older brother, who at ten years old procrastinated on a school report about birds. With the assignment due the next day, he sat at the kitchen table in tears, surrounded by papers, pencils, and unopened books on birds, overwhelmed by the enormity of the task.
Their father sat down beside him, put his arm around his shoulders, and said: “Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.”
That lesson stuck with me, and how by taking it Bird by Bird we can move through anything that feels too big.
From Overwhelm to Stepping into Action
When outcomes are uncertain and stakes are high, being effective is not about having all the answers. Anne Mulcahy who led Xerox through a crisis was known for her grounded, operational approach. Here is a metaphor she often shared for navigating complexity when you feel overwhelmed:
First, get the cow out of the ditch.
Second, find out how the cow got into the ditch.
Third, make sure you do whatever it takes so the cow doesn’t go into the ditch again.
Simplifying it and breaking it down helps you move through obstacles that feel impossible to face all at once. Yet, often I see clients get wrapped up in the swirl of the enormity of the problem instead of the next step. They try to hold the big thing in their heads all at once and that is when overwhelm takes over.
Lamott talks about tackling creative work in “short assignments,” placing a frame around one small section of the work at a time. You do not write a book all at once. You write a paragraph. A page. A scene. And then another.
Life works the same way. Think about watching a child move from crawling to taking tiny steps, falling, and eventually walking, then running. We did not ride a bike on the first try. We did not step confidently into our careers overnight. We learned through accumulation. One small success layered on another.
And in coaching sessions, when clients arrive overwhelmed by work, leadership challenges, or transitions, the question that shifts everything is simple:
What is one small step you could take right now that would move this forward?
Why Small Steps Matter
Taking one small step does something powerful. It interrupts paralysis and restores a sense of energy and confidence. It builds momentum through action. Once we move past the first step, the next becomes clearer.
This is how courage is built not through grand gestures, but through repeated, doable actions. Confidence grows through experience, through showing ourselves that we can engage rather than avoid.
A Practice to Build Confidence When Overwhelm Shows Up
When the inner chatter gets loud and everything feels urgent or heavy, pause and ask yourself:
What is one small, concrete action I could take?
One step leads to another. And before you know it, the thing that once felt impossible is behind you, and you are ready to turn toward whatever comes next.
I carry fond memories reading The Little Engine That Could to my son when he was little and that steady, determined refrain: “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can,” as the little engine climbed up over the hill. It was such a great frame of reference as he moved through his toddler challenges. The lesson here still applies. Confidence arrives after movement, not before.
Keep things in motion. The journey has a way of taking care of itself.
Building the Foundation for a Successful Mediation